Moving toward or running away?

Are you running to something, or are you running away from something?

My high school comm-tech teacher shared this question with me, at a time when I was making a not-so-easy decision.

His advice for deciding was that leaving or quitting is okay, as long as you’re doing it to move toward something, rather than just trying to leave/quit/exit/give up on something else.

There are exceptions here and extreme situations, of course. (Sometimes you gotta get out of a situation without somewhere to go). But if you’ve got the choice, it’s a good question to ask yourself, and to think more deeply about your own motivations and goals for changing things up.

I’ve applied this to some of the biggest decisions of my career and business over the years. I’ve also brought it up to others who are considering making moves.

There are always going to be challenges, especially when you’re innovating, building businesses, solving social issues, or taking the road less travelled. I think what matters is that you’re moving toward something better intentionally, instead of just trying to quit something when it gets tough.

For context, I’m talking mostly about jobs, roles, businesses, schools, causes and groups or initiatives that you’re part of. (Not relationship or health advice here).

Later on in my career, I also learned about opportunity cost: the value of the next-best choice you give up when you make a decision. Because time and money are limited, choosing one path (like starting a business or taking a job) means you can’t do another. We’re often trading one benefit for another.

Keeping some things going can actually take away from other things that you’d really want to see thrive.

So I’ll leave you with something to think about this weekend, or this summer:

• What’s something you’re moving toward?

• Is there something worth giving up what you have now for?

Before making a change, you can ask yourself:

• What would I be moving toward if I made this decision?

• What would staying where I am cost me?

• Is this about growth, alignment and possibility, or mostly frustration, fear or exhaustion?

• Have I given it enough effort to know it’s not the right path, or am I leaving because it got hard?

• What would leaving make room for?

• What am I giving up by continuing on this path?

And with all decisions, I find it’s helpful to ask:

Am I making this decision from clarity, or just from pressure?

Sometimes leaving is the brave thing. Sometimes staying is the brave thing. Either way, it helps to know what you’re choosing, not just what you’re leaving.

Stay cool,